Parenting

Parenting in the Age of Social Media

There are now 2.3 billion active users on social media, and it’s been estimated that the average person jumps on their social media accounts about 46 times per day – and the majority are adults.

That’s a lot of people spending a lot of time, questions to possibly feeling bad about things – because we’ve all read an update {possibly just a few minutes ago}, that has made us feel guilty.

perception-reality-stopcomparenting

Not only are people sharing at enormous rates, but it’s a natural tendency to want to share the best – to get that reaction and validation. I myself fully admit to taking 50 photos before settling on just the right one to share. So, oftentimes the images you see are staged or at least not quite as ‘natural’ as you’d initially think.

As parents, we might see a beautiful share of a perfect photo, of happy kids who get along, such altruistic and angelic children – and behind you is your two kids calling each other names and fighting over the last cheese string. We’ve all compared our own parenting to those streaming by in our social feeds at alarming rates – and sometimes it’s like continuous slaps in the face of what you could possibly be doing wrong.

Immediately we start comparing two very different situations, which is unfair to all – especially you. 

It’s time to stop.

Quaker Canada is celebrating the real side of parenting with the launch of the #stopCOMPAREnting campaign. To inspire Canadian parents to feel more secure about their parenting habits and styles – they’re showcasing the authentic, real and beautiful side of parenting. Not the filtered, staged and curated images which often depict a filtered reality and not the real picture.

How often do you compare your parenting ways to others? Social media is full of curated and staged shares. Check out #stopCOMPAREnting, a movement of much-needed realness, because life certainly isn't perfect, and this includes parenting. Like that time my daughter put on make-up … with white-out. Yikes! I wanna see your realness friends!

A photo posted by TAMMI ???? (@mychaos) on

 
The #stopCOMPAREnting campaign is such an important message, because we all need that reminder to be gentle with ourselves, have the confidence we deserve, and give ourselves some credit for a job well done. I’m all about sharing the struggles, chaos and failures because that’s the truth of real life. Even if the result is a good laugh over lifes way of keeping you on your toes, it’s highly needed.

 

 

A photo posted by TAMMI ???? (@mychaos) on

 

 
I suggest we all make a conscious effort to remember these possible exaggerated truths before we take everything to heart and react in unfair ways to ourselves. It’s important to realize that we all have insecurities from time to time, and resist that the inner urge to compare.

The first step in stopping the unfair comparison is to recognize the triggers that make you feel that you’re lacking. Then, shift the focus on you and your situation, and what you are doing well. Hug your children, have faith in what you are doing – and know that everyone and all situations are different. 

Most importantly, keep in mind that if you’re too busy comparing yourself to other people and their parenting, you might miss all the accomplishments and blessings in your own life. Now that’s something not to be overlooked. 

When needed, chant to you yourself – I am good enough, I’m doing the best I can, so I’ll #stopCOMPAREnting.

Share your thoughts on this, I’d love to know!

 

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post yet as always, all opinions are my own.
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24 Comments

  1. Ugh. This happens so often and it really isn’t fair…to yourself or the parent that you’re comparing yourself/someone else to. And, if I’m being totally honest, I’ve done it before. I’m so glad to see Gerber trying to put a stop to it with this campaign.

  2. Thanks to social media, being a good mom means being the head of everything, baking all the cookies, and looking like you’re ready for a night on the town at 6 am. I hate social media…

  3. I am so thankful that social media was not as prevalent in my life when my kids were babies. I can see how overwhelming it can be for parents online these days.

  4. I adore this campaign. This is so important! I feel like our technology makes it impossible to not compare ourselves, but we all need to just enjoy what we have and know we are doing the best we can!

  5. I agree that social media has made it much easier to do the comparison parenting that you mentioned. However, it is also a great place to get information about a subject, involving children or parenting, that otherwise would not have been so readily available.

  6. This is such a great reminder. As someone who survived post partum depression twice, one of my biggest issues was feeling like I was not good enough as a mother. Now I know that I am doing the best I can and have pretty amazing kids too.

  7. This is a fantastic campaign. I try not to compare myself to other Moms. I know I am doing the best job I can do and I am doing it my way.

  8. Loved your post, such a great reminder to be gentle with ourselves and stop comparison!

  9. I love that there is such a movement going on right now for real photos and stories on social media. There is no such thing as a perfect parent!!

  10. I love the clever hashtag. Social media does make it hard not to compare yourself to others.

  11. I love love love this campaign. Life isn’t picture perfect, and that is the most beautiful thing about it!

  12. This is so true! Such a great campaign to be confident how to be a parent to your kids and not compare yourself to others.

  13. Since we are living among other people it’s impossible not to compare and sometimes comparing makes me wake up and do things better for my kids and with my kids. But I certainly hope I have it in balance.

  14. It is so scary. My daughter is in grade 9. One day in class the girls were talking about nude photos THEY have sent to boys and got some back. My daughter was freaked out. When she voiced her opinion saying they were crazy to do that one girl said I bet every girl in this class has done it and asked the girls who did not do it and my daughter was the only one who said she didn’t. As I told her there were probably more but would not say, God I hope so. Everyone is busy making money and not paying attention to their kids so they get it else where. I think more people should want less material things stay home with their kids and give them what they NEED not what they want.

  15. I am so glad I raised my daughters at the beginning of the computer age. It is so harsh now. and competitive. It is too much.

  16. The kid is so cute and adorable. Yes, now a days social media is very helpful to us.

  17. I can not express enough how important this really is… I sure hope lots of awareness is raised, the only thing we all have in common as far as parenting goes… we’re raising children.. oh and we’re human!

  18. Great reminder! Unfortunately so many parents do compare, and people in general… There’s this pressure from other people sharing their “lives” online that if you’re not strong enough it will eat you alive because you’re not good enough, or you’re not doing great enough. That pressure can be to yourself or to your spouse.

  19. I admit I compare from time to time, but immediately I think of a friend of mine who only posts negative things about parenting. I’m sorry, but I am being a judge. I want to hear the good things as well.

  20. This has been going on for years.. and will never end. We all look for ways in everything we do .. to do it better, this includes raising children.

    I’ve suffered from comparenting for a very long time.. it can really make a person depressed.

  21. Great read. I try so hard to not compare myself but UGH I do find myself doing it..

  22. As a Mom to 5 kids between the ages of 4-15, I am definitely very guilty of COMPAREnting! This is a great reminder that no family is perfect, even if they appear to be. I am going to #stopCOMPAREnting!

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