Parenting

Parenting and The Wishing of Time

I was half-asleep warming bottles while two tiny voices cried for hunger in the stillness of night. Soon calm rested in their tummies and all you could hear was slurping. The small smiles overflowing with the purest of love, they gaze up at me with admiration.

Did that loving moment go unnoticed while I picked some sleep from the corners of my eye, while desperately wishing time would pass to a future of sleep-filled nights?

I look back now and scream “stop wishing that this moment will be long in the past. For now, look down and smile back and not be filled with future wishes. Cherish this moment with your babies as there will never be another like it. You WILL get this”.

As parents, we have a strange habit of always looking forward to the ‘next big thing’. Common phrases like, “I can’t wait until he/she can smile {..walk, talk, attend school}” stream through our minds.

I’m totally guilty myself, I recall the daydream of diaperless days, the girls eating solid foods and brushing their teeth all on their own. Admittingly, I was a repeat offender of always wishing for a time in the future.

In fact, just last week I found myself frustrated and tired of the repetition, just praying for the day when I wouldn’t have to crawl into the back of the vehicle and help with seat belts.

I longed to hop in a car without a huge chaotic commotion and – just go. You know, that day when the only zipper or shoe to fumble with, are my own? And no one is pushing one another out the door, with ample yelling over who sits where? Perhaps some actual silence in the car while driving?

Yet each and every time I wish for the future, I immediately think of something I was told once, “Do not wish your life away“.

The first time I heard this, exhausted to the core with a newborn in arms, I laughed and laughed. How could one compare the wish for some sleep with wasting life? I was very quick to brush that statement off, they were not the same things at all.

Then somewhere in the journey of parenting, it suddenly became true.

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Years passed more quickly than a blink of an eye. Those long tired days with a newborn were behind me and unlike what I believed at the time, they actually weren’t the worst days ever.

I know with certainty that they were extremely trying, yet now, it’s a blur. Like the forgotten experience of childbirth which I pushed so hastily from my mind, perhaps those times ‘weren’t really that bad’?

I look at my kids now and realize that survival mode made me wish that time away. Now, it literally feels like all those wishes came true.

That thought right there, is the one that hits me like a truck.

Too little too late?

The passing of the years and much realization makes me now wish to go back, which I’m sure the Tammi of that time would slap me for.

I’d love to have just one more day of making bottles and seeing them lined in a row, taking up almost the entire fridge door. I might never again see so many drying bibs covering every surface of the kitchen. I do miss shopping in the baby section at the toy store, and not just walking through quickly, on my way to the older kids area.

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If I could go back, would I this time embrace the moment and smile through the trials, instead of cry?

Also, is wishing that now, just as useless?

Talk about a vicious cycle!

This is what really shocks me about this whole job of parenting. The really tough part isn’t the juggling of the schedule, or all the laundry to be done. Rather, it’s the realizations of everything in between, and all the emotions involved that really surprise me most.

When is the last time you wished for time?

 
 

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I’m a #MomsIntuition Ambassador sponsored by Schick Intution and while this is a compensated post, all thoughts and opinions are 100% my own.

 

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18 Comments

  1. I completely agree with this! I feel like as parents we’re always waiting for the next milestone.. sleeping through, sitting up, weaning, crawling, walking and so on and I for one wish i’d just stopped to appreciate time for what it was with my daughter rather than constantly looking for it to speed up! x

  2. Your post makes me sad. When my girls were little, I wished they were bigger. “No more diapers” and “Old enough to explain what they want” then “Old enough to make it themselves.” As they have grown, I’ve looked back and missed the tiny days while at the same time relishing in how mature they have become. They do grow up too fast. As for when I wish for more time… it’s usually when the schedules are really hectic then I just wish for two of me to be able to get everything done.

  3. I had that feeling too for a while when I had my daughter, my children are 15 months apart and my husband had a major heart attack the day she was due, thankfully she was 2 weeks late. The feeling didn’t last long. They were so beautiful and I loved them so much. Now I’m a grande mother of two little girls. Times flies!

  4. Always, but as my oldest is going to start her senior year in high school…I am trying my hardest to slow down because in just about 14 months she will be off to college….unreal. What a precious post, every mom should read this!

  5. I try really hard to cherish every minute I have with my kiddo! It all goes so fast! I can’t believe who old my kiddo is now! in 10 years he will be able to drive! I’m am SO not ready for that!

  6. Thanks for the great reminder that we need to slow down and enjoy the little things each day! I need to work harder at this! It’s such a precious time when they are young.

  7. Every day! There are so many things that need to get done in a day that I just wish I had more time so I could immerse myself in my children.

  8. It’s easy to forget how important it is to live in the moment and cherish everyday.

  9. I tell my kiddos to not wish to be older (all the time). I wish I could go back to the days when both sets of my grandparents were living. Those were some of my most cherished memories and I had so much fun with little to no worries.

  10. Mine are just a little older than yours and I find myself wishing time would slow down all the time. They just grow so fast!

  11. Unfortunately,we all are guilty of wishing time would go by,until we get older. When we are older,we ask ourselves ,where did the time go!? Tammy, I will say it again,your three girls are beautiful and adorable.
    Cherish them.
    Marilyn

  12. I found myself wishing I could slow down the clock this week. Suddenly my”baby” is graduating Grade 8, when just yesterday she was in diapers? I know I’m guilty of wishing some of those sleepless nights away, and I just did it one baby at a time! LOL I’m working harder every day to live in the moment and enjoy every second. 🙂

  13. Im glad I came across this post. As I am currenly exhausted and sleep deprived from my 1.5 yr old son I need to cherish evey moment and not wish so much for more sleep! I already miss his tiny days.

  14. I can’t say I never do that, but I always was surprised when in the perfect moment of happiness on the play ground one of the moms would say “I can’t wait for… (anything about kids growing faster)”

    I think it’s the beauty of being a grand parent – ideally you have all the benefits of kids being around without much of parenting – it’s not your job anymore 🙂 Maybe that’s why grandparents have so much more patience and a better perspective?

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