Lifestyle | Parenting | Twins

Should Twins Sleep in the Same Room?

 

Should Twins Sleep in the Same Room? It’s been a year coming, and quite honestly it’s probably been the roughest battle for me as a Mom of Twins. The transition from crib to bed! No, they’ve never fallen out. Not scared of the dark.

It’s the fact that bedtime was always one huge slumber party! Last year, as soon as the twins went from crib to bed, it’s been a fit of giggles, jumps and chaos! The hyper madness was too much to take, they would go at it for hours. Then, after such a late bedtime, they would be so grouchy and tired the next day {no longer having naps either}. It was especially frustrating since my daughter started grade school last year, and was up half the night listening to her twin toddler sisters partying in the next room. We were all so tired!

So, I adjusted the best way I could – one of them {always Katie} started sleeping in the hallway. I would put Sophia to bed and Katie would get her pillow and a blanket and lay down in the hallway. After she fell asleep, I would carry her back to her bed and there they would both sleep until morning.

Yep, my toddler slept in the hallway for a year. sigh.

About once a week I would try and get them both to fall asleep in their beds, only to have the slumber party fill the evening. Reminders, Shhh’ing, pleading and yes threatening {to take a toy away} – would not help. Each time I tried, I gave up after an hour, and end up seperating the twins and putting Katie in the hallway {then, and only then would they fall asleep within 5 minutes}.

Yep, in the hallway. Katies spot. I’ll never look at my hallway the same way.

It was getting old though, and jokes about kids sleeping in dresser drawers were passed around the dinner table. My poor little hallway sleeping girl! It was especially hard when we had company over. There, down the hall is my daughter falling asleep on the floor. “Watch your step if you need to go to the bathroom, my daughter is sleeping in the hallway.”

In the last month I have been trying extra hard to get them both to sleep in the same room, and finally {knock on wood}, it seems to be working. It might take 10-15 minutes of talking, giggling and the seldom ‘pitter-patter’ heard on the floor. But, it isn’t anything like before.

I have been thinking about what has changed, what is making this work now when it didn’t before? Were they just getting older? More tired than before? Then it hit me – it’s darker now at bedtime, more that in the Spring and Summer!

We do have a darkening shade on their bedroom window, yet there was always that annoying gap between shade and window, enough to allow them to see most everything in the room. This also allowed them to wander in ‘darkness’, with enough precision to play around and still scoot into their beds when they heard Mom coming to investigate.

It’s darker now with Winter coming, and I notice that it’s darker in their rooms at bedtime. The darkness keeps them in their beds, though there is the little chats and giggles to be heard for a bit. But, there’s no jumping and running around. This darkness also helps for sleepiness to settle in, until they succumb to the fact that it’s bedtime.

So, if you have twins or kids that share a room and the party is too much to bear, you might want to put a blanket over the window. It’s worth a shot!

And, if you too have a twin or child that is sleeping in the hallway {hey, it gave me some sanity this past year}, I’m here to let you know that it does get better. Well, until the next parenting hurdle, right?

We as parents are never alone in our struggles, together we can overcome the chaos!

.

Similar Posts

65 Comments

  1. We have had our girls sleeping together since the beginning, not twins, but 15 months apart. Some nights even now with them 10 and 9 I have to remind them it’s time for bed a few times. It’s not as often as it used to be though.

    1. Oh I can expect some chat and giggles to last the entire roomate stage! Must be fun though, I never had a sibling my age, it’s pretty cool to see!

  2. I have a 4yo, 2yo and 10 month old. Sleep has always been an issue with kids so close together. At one point I had 3 yo in a twin bed in our room and the younger two in bed with DH and me. I finally had ENOUGH and moved 4yo and 2yo to their own room. And yup! PARTY TIME.

    UGH.

    So now DH or I will lay down with the older two and the other adult takes care of the baby. That is all that works so far. But I agree with you – the getting darker earlier sure helps to calm them down faster.

    1. Oh Annie – sending hugs first and foremost!! occasionally I have had one of my girls come to bed with me due to a nightmare or something, and that’s tolerable it’s so infrequent. And, when they were all babies, they slept with me until about 3 months. But all the time? That wears on ya, doesn’t it?
      Glad you found a solution for now!

  3. my twin boys will be 4 in december. we have had the exact same struggle. i started putting one in my bed then carrying him back to bed when he was alseep. however then that started the fights. they would fight over who would get in mom’s bed so i had to figure something out. i was going insane!!! finally i got BUNKBEDS!!! omg it has been a lifesaver!!!! I also took away their nap (they were only down to one nap) and its great! they are asleep within 10 minutes. I too did the window covering. i had my mother in law make us one when they were infants and it is awesome. they wake right up when they see light so if we didnt have it we’d be up at 6am in the spring/summer.

    1. I almost regret not getting bunks… but at age 3, I thought it would be such a hazard. BUT, what was I thinking? just get a single in there for a year until they get older, right? oh well!
      Glad to see I’m not alone. I always just had the same twin in the hallway, so there was no fighting. Once it became expected that she was moved, the other didn’t argue – it just became ‘her spot’. Same with their beds now, each has their own and there’s no switching, I don’t want the fights over beds!
      Speaking of – do they take turns with the top bunk? How does that work?

  4. We are a family of three girls. My twins are 8 now & I can totally relate. Nowadays they are so tired with school & their activities, it only takes one warning. Our problem lately is one twin waking the other up in the early morning to chat & play. This seems to happen no matter how tired they were going to bed or how late it was!! It still makes for grumpy twins & a very grumpy younger sister who can hear a pin drop when she sleeps! Plus grumpy parents! On the weekend, I sleep with ear plugs in & my DH yells at them to stop!!! Oh the joy! Just a different lack of sleep!!!!

  5. I have a 7 year old girl and a 5 year old boy who are sharing a room (and have bunkbeds) and have similar troubles! If the two of them are in the same room they will play, visit each other’s beds and fool around till even my bedtime…. Most nights I let my son fall asleep in our bed instead and we can move him afterwards.

    My to do list includes clearing out a very full storage room so that we can separate the two of them officially.

    Right now my daughter is always on the top bunk (because she’s older and we started out that way). My son likes the bottom because you can tuck a sheet into the top bunk and make it a fort. Each bed has its perks. If my kids wanted to switch I’d let them do one week up, one week down (or whatever your sheet changing schedule is). They’ll be sad to lose their bunk beds when we put them in separate rooms…

  6. I am a twin. My Mom tells my twin and I horror stories of us running up and down the halls and giggling at all hours of the night (up to 2 am). I CANNOT imagine how horrific it must have been since she had 3 other children when we were doing that. This story did make me giggle though because I used to be that kid. Don’t worry, when they get into 2nd and 3rd grade they will actually like their sleep.

  7. yup we rotate the top bunk. it works well for us. i really worried about bunk beds about them falling but i was at my wits end. we got this one http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Solid-Wood-Espresso-Twin-Twin-Bunk-Bed/4714640/product.html?rcmndsrc=2
    and the top had a really high rail and the bottom we just put a bed rail (the cheaper one that walmart carries) and it works great. my boys havent had any issues. they get really excited and tell me whos turn it is to be on top.

  8. At one time I had 3 girls in 1 bedroom..

    The youngest never wanted to go to bed until an older one was going to bed ..

    I agree with you though, that getting kidlets to sleep when its darker is much easier than when its lighter outside. We actually had “black out” curtains put into the room and it made a huge difference.

  9. stumbled When Twin Toddlers Sleep in the Same Room

    stumble name is greeeneyedwhwom

  10. How about a little divider in between the bed (can be a dresser, or just a bedsheet curtain)? Or simply a game who falls asleep first?

    1. ha that would never work for these 4 yo twins.. they have no fare of consequences at all. they are free for all no yelling, quiet voice, punishment, or taking away of anything works. they scream when u tell them ur going to close the door, they talk while ur telling them a story, run in n out of each other’s bed or tease each other then cry for mom or dad it’s endless!!!they sleep in twin beds in same room, i am thinking of putting one into play room taking all toys out

    1. Congrats Debbie! There’s always some battle to overcome, yet trust your gut and persist. Oh, and try and be smarter than the kids! ;P

  11. What a fun read! I’m a twin and have enjoyed sharing a room with my sister all my life. We even shared a crib as babies. 🙂 I know the feeling though of having to separate twins. I had a job as a nanny for twin girls and I would let one of them sleep on the floor in the play room at nap time so I wouldn’t have to deal with their nap time antics. 😀 They took turns and it actually made for easier naptime, since they would get excited when it was their turn to sleep on the floor. 🙂 I know this is an old post, so I hope all your sleeping problems have been resolved. 😀

  12. Tammi, thank you for this post. This will serve me well when my twin boys move from crib to bed. Right now I am hoping that they will stay in cribs for awhile yet as they already have jumping parties. What age did you move them to beds? Did you wait till they tried to crawl out? My boys are not great sleepers on the best night so I can only imagine the chaos when they move to beds! Thank you for sharing. familyfoodtravel@blogspot.ca

    1. I moved them to toddler beds at about age 2.5 {if memory serves}. They didn’t crawl out yet but one crib brace broke just before bedtime. So, I had to have one on a mattress on the floor. Then, it was just easier to get rid of both, and they slept on mattresses on the floor until about age 3 when we got them single beds.
      It was hard at first, a free for all and no confined to cribs. I have heard some have it so easy, but that wasn’t the case with me. One twin had to fall asleep in the hall for months and months due to the antics.
      We’re past that now, thank goodness. If they aren’t too tired, they’ll try and fool around for hours, but usually the talking and giggling lasts for less than 20 minutes. And, they will be 4 in a couple months.
      Yep, neverending battles!

      Good luck to you!!
      🙂

  13. I, a twin, never shared a room when young b/c my twin is a boy. Later on I shared
    with my sister who was 9 yrs. younger and just accepted it because that was how it
    was.
    Being the same age, I can imagine what twins could be up to.

    yourstrulee(at)sasktel(dot)net

  14. I am dreading this stage. My guys are sharing a room in cribs right now and doing well, but I know things are going to get crazy when they are in beds.

  15. Making the room darker makes perfect sense. You shouldn’t feel badly about one of the twins sleeping in the hall. You have to improvise when you raise kids.

  16. I am going through a very similar situation with my “Irish Twins”! They are 11 months apart and they do not want to be in the same room. There is no choice in this matter. They take turns bothering each other. The older one stares at the younger one and screams and that makes the younger baby cry, This has got to work! Thank you!

  17. Had the same issue with my girls 17 mths apart, dark curtains, a blanket and occasionally threats to take away the night light helped

  18. Our boys were just under 19month when we transitioned them to beds . They were climbing out of the cribs so had to do for safety. Their sister is 14 months older and she was in a ‘ big bed, so why not! We just put them into big child beds. Great at the start, but then the novelty wore off and the parties began. Put them into bed at say 630pm and by 930 they may eventually fall asleep. Our daughter would just read herself to sleep… the difference between girls and boys! The interesting thing was, that when at other peoples places like grandparents, who had pull out beds or 2 single beds, they would all go asleep in 5 minutes. We thought doing something wrong…. we mixed it up. Hallway sleeping, splitting the kids with sleepy girl to mishcevious boy and other boy in girls room or in our room. THat made things quieter but they still didnt go to sleep until after 8pm. We eventually put the matresses on the floor, stored the bases. THis made it safer and they didnt find it as fun to jump off or to jump on – not as bouncy. so that worked for a while. Now the boys are 2 and1/2 and our daughter almost 4. What works…. well it changes every night! The terrible 2 2s! The good thing is that being toddlers and all similar ages, they play together, entertain themselves nicely (most of the time) during the day…. So whatever works, just go with it, hallway or not!

  19. Any updates on the twins sharing a room debate? Our twin boys are 3 and we kept them in their cribs with cribs tents for as long as possible. We only made the move to mattresses on the floor recently because they destroyed the tents. The tents have since been recalled and we couldn’t buy a replacement anywhere. Well our problem has been that our one twin will act aggressively to the other twin when he is tired. So leaving them alone has not worked because someone always ends up hurt. We could separate them if we moved the baby into our room but we don’t really want to do that either. Any other ideas? My husband and I have been staying in their room and putting them back in bed, back in bed, back in bed (you get the idea) and it will go on for hours until they pass out. We are exhausted..so any tips would be greatly appreciated. Kinda thinking about the hallway option at this point 🙂
    Jen

  20. I think it would be awesome to be a twin, great to share a room and cool to have a mom who would let us decide where we wanted to sleep…but that’s just me.

  21. That’s a cute story, and she looks comfy on the floor at least. it’s carpeted. My kids have been sleeping in the same room lately, and it is not easy!

  22. Finally, replace the bag and clean or replace the now dirty
    exhaust filter. Think about the items that are going to be cleaned and read
    reviews of different products to determine which is best for you.

    Of course, because a vacuum appliance is very important in
    our lives, we must do all we can to make sure that service
    continues for a longer period of time.

  23. October 21- I think you came up with a sensible solution that probably kept you sane and your twins rested. My daughter had twins and I kept them , when toddlers, for ten days. They were in separate cribs in the same room, in the summer, and they had a great slumber party every night for about an hour. As they were boy and girl twins, they were put in separate beds late on and I think they settled down then.

  24. Oi twins, my mom is a twin, I was so worried, but neither I nor my brother had twins

  25. I’m a twin myself and we not only slept in the same room but in the same bed (a double for years). Neither of us minded and it was also a handy way to keep warm as we didn’t have central heating back in those days.

  26. Hehhe wow.. I’m such a fan of twins. I use to watch twin shows even. Had a dream
    My twin will show up one day LOL.

  27. My boys still sleep in the same room together since they were born,they cannot go to sleep w/out each other now.

  28. We’ve got sleeping issues also, got bunk beds but, they both sleep in the bottom bunk together! Thanks for the story!

  29. The benefits of their bond will far outweigh the troubles they’ll get into together. Keep them close. 🙂

  30. You will want to create sure the grinder you ultimately
    choose will make the grind large or small enough for the particular machine.

    These days it really is not uncommon to get people owning a coffeemaker.
    Make sure the device does the work quickly, so that to create
    additional pots of coffee is straightforward and efficient, while you need it.

  31. I think that twins should sleep together in the same room. They may not won’t to be separated.

  32. I have twin 2 year old boys. Levi yells at Joel and makes him cry. His cry is ear piercing.
    Joel also wakes up every night between 2-3am.
    We seep rate sometimes but when they are separated Levi always asks where is Jojo.

  33. We were the same until we finally moved them into the basement at age 14 and 15. Seperate bedrooms = sleep!!

  34. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.

    I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit,
    but instead of that, this is excellent blog. A great read.
    I’ll definitely be back.

  35. hey tammi, we have our 7yr old and 3 yr old in the same room also (i just can’t bring myself to let one sleep downstairs yet). we have the same ordeal at bedtime, the only way i can make it work is if i stand in the room , or just outside of it, until they fall asleep. they know there is no miss-behaving while moms in hearing/seeing distance. my husband uses the one kid in their room and one in our until they are asleep and then carry one over method. oh, and we also had to put tin foil under the curtains to black out the room.

  36. Saw this under favourite reads and had to check it out! Love it! Your girls are so adorable!!

  37. Pingback: New Sleep Companions and Plush Toys from Cloud b
  38. My twin boys were born 2 days before my oldest sons 2nd birthday, I actually brought them home on his bday!! It was like I had triplets but my boys are very close to each other!
    They are now 19 & 17yrs old and I miss the days when they were little and wanted to cuddle!!

    1. Awe, I miss the cuddling days too – even at 8 the twins don’t want to much anymore. I feel ya mama, and job job on raising three young men!

  39. Hi, I am a new parent of twins looking for sleeping advice. I can’t get my 9 week old girls to sleep in a crib together or separate. They either cry hysterically or fuss about for an hour. Instead they sleep in a rock and play next to my bed. I can’t find any advice online? Do you have any?

    1. Hi Nanette, I know the frustration!! Have you tried some white noise or a Cloud B product with sound or heartbeat? They could *need* your breathing and warmth, which you could try reproducing in a product such as these so that it’s not just on you. Feel free to shoot me off an email any time tammi@myorganizedchaos.net, and we can discuss further – we need to get you guys sleeping, and well!

  40. My husband is a twin and his Mom tells me it was a struggle every night,I guess you just have to do what works for you.Your girls are beautiful all three of them!

  41. My girls always shared a room, they are 3 years apart, but instead of the giggles and laughter, with them it was the fighting and screaming, those 2 could never get along, so I had to keep the oldest up longer to my youngest was asleep

  42. Exact same struggles at that age. My twin girls are 10 now, and we have an older 12 year old girl also (2 years 5 months apart). The relationships with twin girls are a continuous challenge. They present a unique set of circumstances different from even close together siblings/sisters. Each stage continues to present new seemingly unsolvable problems! I’ve learned to just accept it and do the best we can. Accepting that it’s unique has helped me to see things differently, parent differently, and coach the girls that although sometimes there might be no solution, the bond they have together throughout their life is worth any type of headache they uniquely have to deal with as twins. As they get older, their maturity with it is growing, and they are able to handle the obstacles better. Good luck and know you are not alone!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *