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10 Years Ago Today

It was 10 years ago to this day, I said goodbye to my Father.
Though I know he’s still with me, I still feel such regret and sadness.
So much I should have said. So many times I should have listened.

The last time we talked, smiled and hugged one another was on my wedding day…

Though I hold these times dear to my heart, I feel a loss just thinking of all the memories we didn’t have a chance to make. I cannot believe he missed 10 years of my life!

Today I’m a little quiet, a little on edge and many times fighting the urge to scream.

Instead I’ll remember in tears and hope that he misses me too…

~

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21 Comments

  1. (((HUGS))) Time only dulls the edges of pain. I lost my mother 12 years ago in a few days. Some days the pain is almost as fresh as it was the first week. I have to believe that they are in a better place.

  2. Oh, this post, so simple and so heartfelt just breaks my heart for you. I’m so sorry you haven’t had your dad around to share your last 10 yrs.

    Hugs

  3. Screaming always makes me feel just a little bit better. I lost my daughter Cooper 3 years ago. I don’t believe the sadness ever goes away but I do believe we have to push through it and deal the best we can for our families. I don’t know how we’re suppose to do this sometimes but I’ll fake it until I figure that out…:) My Heart goes out to you

  4. I’m so very sorry for your loss. No matter how much time passes, the hurt will always be there, I am sure, and you’ll always miss the most important man in your life. Keep his memory alive! Thoughts are with you today. xo

  5. My thought are with you today and I share in tears for your loss, Tammi. No one can ever replace our Dads but we will always have our wonderful memories of them!
    Listen closely as I’m sure you can hear your Dad say….
    “I truly do miss you Dear Tammi!”
    I know how proud he must be of the beautiful woman you’ve grown to be and the wonderful Mother you are to his grandchildren!
    {{{Hugs}}}

  6. you are so strong! i lost both my parents in aug and nov of “09 and it feels like yesterday! i often find myself picking up the phone to just chat or to complain about how my day went! you are a great inspiration for me Tam! xoxo

  7. (((Hugs))) for you today on this difficult day. Thank you for this post that makes me reflect on my parents and appreciate them even more. I am a lot older than you and I know when I do lose my parents I will miss them immensely. I am sure your father looks down from heaven at you and your beautiful family and smiles at your accomplishments and theirs and he chuckles when he sees the special ornament on your tree each year.

  8. I feel for you! That has to be so hard. I’m sure he would LOVE the way you are today. Everything I’ve seen on here has showed me that you are a good mother! Although nothing can replace your father, he holds a place with all kinds of memories that you shared.

  9. I feel for you Tammi. I couldn’t imagine losing my dad and I cannot understand what you are going through. I hope you have the strength to get you through this tough time, although I’m sure it does bring back some fantastic memories.

  10. Hey Tammi! My Daddy passed away 11 years ago on Christmas Day. I didn’t get to say goodbye – he was gone so quickly. I totally understand that feeling of ‘being on the edge’ when you’re remembering. The magnitude of the grief doesn’t change – it still hurts just as bad now as it did then. It just doesn’t hurt as long or as frequently. Christmas was really hard this year for me… we lost my Daddy’s grandma, my great-grandma, in August, so I was missing them both very much this year. I know this hurt. I wish I could give you a real hug! 🙂

  11. Hi Tammi, Just reading this i am crying because i have not lost my parents yet but coming close my dad was a picture of health and in the last 2 years has had cancer in 5 places and my mom has heart trouble they cannot fix! I was so grateful to have Christmas 2010 and we were all together as i know next year will not be the same story, i feel the pain already i just can’t imagine when there gone! Your parents are just that, people who love us with all our flaws and mistakes. So as i can’t say i feel your full pain yet thanks for sharing with us maybe if we all talk about it it may give us all a little less pain. Hope your day goes ok and i do believe your Mom and Dad story! Too long to type here but it does happen!

  12. ((((HUGS)))). Tammi . Crying helps heal the soul. It doesn’t always make it better but it helps us heal a little. You’re in my prayers.
    Carol L.

  13. *Big Hugs* I can empathize with you..my dad passed away 1 year ago on 12/29. I was a daddy’s girl my whole life and have really struggled this past year without him.

  14. I know all too well the pain of losing a father, having lost mine almost six years ago. It is my wish for you that the pain may lessen and the memories you did have with him remain strong.

  15. Wherever he is, I KNOW that no matter what, he misses you just as much as you miss him. Losing a parent, as well as any family member or friend for that matter, is a hard thing to go through.

    I honestly can’t imagine my life without both of my parents. If I hadn’t have had my mom these past 7 years, I would surely be dead.

    I wish you peace in your heart and wonderful memories of your father on this day-I’m sure he would want you to remember the wonderful and beautiful memories he left you with, rather then the sadness his absence has caused you and your family.

    My heart goes out to you.

  16. Very Sorry to hear of your Dad passing. I dont think there are words that can express the pain of losing a father. Everytime I look at my daughter she fills my heart with love and happiness and I am sure your Dad felt the same about you.

    I know this article wasnt posted recently but this is the first time i had read it. So I am sending out peaceful, healing thoughts to you.

    1. Hi paul,
      I’m missing my parents today, so I started reading my old posts of them. I just saw your comment. Thank you so much, your words mean a lot to me right now.
      Hug your daughter and I’ll do the same with mine. Life is never easy….

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