A good friend of mine posted this article on her Facebook wall a while ago. I really enjoyed the response to the question of what stay-at-home Mom’s do all day {a loaded question!}.
I have been asked this very question a couple of times, and never found the right words to describe what I DO do all day. In reality, I do everything. And with 3 kids, that everything just takes a lot longer. For example, before kids I could make a quick run to the store and back in 5 minutes flat. Now, it takes at least a half-hour, if not more. Combine this with the added time it takes to do anything else – and you have more than a full day.
I often wonder who first thought of ‘Moms eating BonBon’s all day‘…and more importantly, is this a class that I can take? Most of the time I manage to gobble up breakfast while brushing hair, getting the kids’ meal, loading the dishes, etc. At least I think I eat breakfast most days. Though I’m not quite sure, since I haven’t had my 100% full attention on just one thing in a long time.
I’m not at all saying I don’t enjoy my days as a Stay-At-Home Mom, I really do. Yet it is a lot different of a life than when I worked away from home, and at one point, working 3 jobs at once. Actually, I recall having more ‘free-time’ when I did work 3 jobs…
My point is that in no way is parenting easy or stress-free, especially for the ones who claim to have parenting down to a perfect science. And personally, I have so much more to tackle in my day than explain my parenting duties to people who question what I do as a stay-at-home Mom.
In any case, I do love this article so give it a read – the response is priceless. In fact, maybe it should be framed and put on my wall. Ha!
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Jennifer says
I love this article! Recently, I was put down pretty harshly by a family member because I am a stay at home mom! There is a major misconception that all we do is lounge around all day long! I wish!! haha!
Tammi says
Agreed!
{oh and sorry it took me so long to reply, I was sitting on my butt eating chocolate all day}
*snort*
sILVIA says
SERIOUSLY!! I wish i can I am a mother of 4. A 9 year old, 6, 5, and 1. I am a stay at home mother as well. My spouse thinks I sleep all morning and watch tv all day while he works his butt off at work. pfft. . . who can sleep with a 1 year old, a ton of laundry to wash/put away, and organize a business. . . um no one. its hard especially when you have no one to talk to (no friends) and no car to get out of the house and enjoy the out doors & relax your mind (especially when you have a spouse that thinks wrong of you) ugh. this is a good article.
Cindy says
I wrote a post about that a while back. I think people just have a hard time imagining the job. There’s no boss to tell you what to do, no clock to punch, so they assume we just can’t fill the time! I do think there are some SAHM’s who give the rest of us a bad name, though, and just do nothing.
http://getalonghome.com/2010/02/so-what-do-you-do-all-day/
Jen Gacek says
What a great article. It’s amazing how life changes when we have kids. I always tell people, at least when you have a job you can clock out at the end of the day, come home, and forget about it. When you’re a mom, you are on call 24/7!
Tammi says
all.the.time Jen!
Day or night, with no breaks.
Better yet, what DON’T we do all day!
Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud says
Finally! An article that explains what I haven’t been able to articulate into words. We are worn out and we have a huge load, huge responsibility yet we stay-at-home moms don’t get the credit we deserve. The writer is right. I’d rather enjoy the few free minutes of my time enjoying a little bit of peace and quiet with myself than chatting it up on the phone.
Thanks for sharing this. I shared it on FB.
Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
@TweetingMama
Tammi says
same here Kristi. After a long day of repeating myself a million times a day, the last thing I want to do is talk on the phone and hear my own voice more!!
Tracy says
Great article. I vented about this a few days ago on my blog. It is really tough. I am a SAHM with three boys all day but at night and on weekends, I am a workaholic at my local grocery store. Working until midnight or later, coming come to chill for a few minutes before crashing into bed, then only to get up at 6 in the morning to start my SAHM job and do the whole thing all over again…24/7, moms never stop. I certainly get rubbed the wrong way when I get asked what I do all day and why I can’t do this that or the other thing. Walk in my shoes, man, walk in my shoes! Thanks for sharing this Tammy :O)
Jennifer McLachlan says
I gotta say I love this article and thanks so much for posting it! I’m a work at home mom and I take my role VERY seriously! While not tending to all of the life needs of my beautiful 18 month old daughter, I am trying my very hardest to help start-up our family business. My husband works at least six days a week and at least fourteen hours every one of those days and often commutes at least two hours away from our home. We have three dogs which adds to the chaos and we live in a small town where I have no close family, even so my only family would be my dad who is about four hours away from us. Both of our moms are no longer with us and my father-in-law lives in the dominican republic.
Every day is chaos and often leaves me wondering, where did I disappear to? But then I figure it out, I’m right here and I have everything I ever wanted. My family is happy and healthy and my bills are paid. I’m lucky. So even though I do get overwhelmed because even I’m not perfect, I wouldn’t change my life for anything.
My friends understand if I don’t get back to them right away – that’s why they are my friends. Besides they’re busy too and really, whoever wrote that question posed in the article needs to get a hobby or perhaps fire her maid because she seems to have a lot of time on her hands for such a busy person.
Thank God for the stay-at-home Mom – thanks to us for choosing to put ourselves aside and raise our munchkins in a clean, disciplined and loving environment. Thanks to us for loving our families and thanks to idiots like that woman for giving me a good chuckle!
Sandra U. says
AMEN! What a great article! I have 8 kids and I’m lucky if I can grab a shower. Forget brushing the hair, I toss it up in a ponytail usually. Driving kids back and fourth to school (to 2 different schools), doing all the household chores (mind you this many kids means 20+ loads of laundry on a typical week), multiple loads of dishes a day, meals to plan and cook, kissing boo-boos, reading books, playing games to help entertain the preschoolers, trying to keep them from pulling my curtains down….your eating a puff that rolled under the couch from yesterday??? Eh pick and choose my battles, the puff is still good right? Maybe a little extra crunchy, LOL. I could list a million things I do a day. Friends, What’s that? I haven’t talked to an adult outside the computer world (aside from the checker at the grocery store) in I don’t know how many days, weeks?!?! I absolutely love being a stay at home mom but to those who think we sit on our rears eating bon bons must be from mars. It’s a full time (unpaid) job and although extremely busy and sometimes want to pull my hair out, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. “Go Diego Go”….I gotta go, it’s time to jump up and dance with my kids to the theme song cause thats how we roll!
alissa apel says
I think if I were a stay at home mom I’d be pretty busy too! I’m busy as a full-time working mom as well. I only wish that my husband and I had the same weekend. We’ve worked out that he watches the kids in the middle of the week (his weekend). My sister watches them two other days, and my parents one day. It’s a crazy schedule, but at least the kids are watched by people that truly love them.
Lydia says
Great article. I feel that women are more likely to judge SAHMs than are men. Isn’t that sad?
Tammi says
Interesting thought, Lydia. You may be correct. I wonder….
Felicia K. says
I LOVE that article. It says everything I’ve ever wanted to say to people that say SAHM’s don’t do anything.
Amy Brown says
I read this post the other day and I was thinking about it when I went home. I actually was pretty naive before I had my daughter. I thought when I was on maternity leave I’d have all this time to watch tv, lounge around, go to the mall. HA ,was I ever wrong!!!! Now that I’m back at work it’s actually quite a bit easier, dare I say!
blb says
Thank you for sharing this! This is why I’ve always been so thankful for the various mom groups I’ve belonged to – they all get it. If you have to cancel, or bring along an extra kid, or show up with spit-up on your jacket, no one is going to blink. Odds are someone will grab your kid, hand you a cup of tea, and help wipe off the drool. 🙂
Alyssa M says
I watch my sister who has 3 kids 3yrs and under and am amazed! She is one of ‘those’ crazy couponing ladies who pays $3 for $100 worth of stuff because couponing is a full-time job! But that’s how she is able to be a SAHM while her DH is in school full-time and working part-time. With one child (and one on the way) I still manage to find plenty to do while at home lol! That’s why I have to enter giveaways at 3 in the morning! 🙂
Nicole Hartmann says
Seriously contemplating printing this for my fiance… I have only been a stay-at-home mom for less than 2 months and I am VERY overwhelmed. I HATE when he asks what I did all day!!!! Well, yes I went to the park, library, we watched Toy Story… “Thats IT???” No, that isn’t IT! In between I was soliciting potential clients, designing websites and logo’s, marketing my website(s), chasing our son around, blogging, giving baths, cooking dinner – need I go on? I am not only a STAY at home mom – I run 4 different businesses from home AND a full-time college student. I am TIRED!
I also have a posting on my blog I wrote a few weeks ago about how my expectations are NOT being met. I thought I would be relaxing on the couch, getting my hair done, sleeping until noon.. HAH! I have recently started couponing as well. I have a new pile of hobbies I have always wanted to do – and now that I have the time, I can’t FIND the time to complete them!!!
Kristen says
My sister over this past holiday had the audacity to say, “I wish I could have one day in your shoes and just sit around the house while my husband works.” I just kept my mouth shut and continued what I was doing. My sister being a mother herself with one on the way is one person I thought would understand but… I thought back and I know why she doesn’t. She has worked since 6 weeks after her son was born sending him off to our moms for her to watch him and then all she has to do sometimes if our mother hasn’t is feed, bathe and put him to bed! But typically 1 or 2 of those is already done. I feel maybe she is jealous of the time I get with my daughter that she can’t have with her son(well she could but doesn’t want to make the financial sacrifices I have)! I don’t know but what I do know is I don’t envy her, I am happy of every moment I get to spend at home with my daughter no matter the stress and the tiredness. I have signed up for it day in and day out! My husband did it for 2 months while I went to work and he asked me to quit my job because he could not handle it! He rather work more hours then do what I do everyday! And honestly I feel I am a little crazy to sign up day in and day out but theres no greater joy then the smile on your child’s face because they accomplished something with your help!
Shelley says
<3 that is all.
julie g says
As a stay at home mom, I do find the time to return the phone calls of friends who support me. My best friend of 20 years is a working mom, and we both support each other completely. She marvels at every I do, supporting for the great job I am doing…and I marvel at everything she can do, and support her when she can’t find the time to do it all.
I do know some people who have the attitude of the person who posed the question. No wonder her friends don’t bother answering her phone calls. I wouldn’t either.
We have to be somewhat understanding though. Most (not all) childless people have a world that revolves around them. They will never understand the love, care, compassion, frustration, mental exhaustion, and freeness that comes with having children and then choosing to stay at home with them.
Carla D says
what a great post! I work full time with my two boys but had quite the experience when I was off on Maternity leave. It is overwhelming – there is no support from many people (not even family members – don’t forget you have a great life you can spend the day at the park, or the mall, or swimming! – that is literally what I was told when I was off on Maternity leave!) It is a tough job to stay at home with the kids, all the home responsibilities fall on your shoulders, cooking, cleaning, entertaining your kids and the list goes on! I have friends who have no kids and do not understand why I am frustrated, tired, have no time, etc…..
As parents we need to support each other (whether we stay at home or work full time!). At the end of the day we are all trying our best to raise our children and all deserve support 100%