I walked up to a very small green and white house. I did not recognize this house, yet being there made me feel so welcome. I didn’t get far up the front walk when someone approached me and told me they were gone. I felt very sad, looking at the house and wishing that I had come sooner. I heard quiet voices coming from the back of the house.
There waiting for me, were my parents. They were not the old, fragile and sick people that haunt my last memories of them. Instead, they were young, and looking like they did in the late 50’s. They were perfectly and neatly dressed. Dad wore a button up dress shirt and pants, and Mom in a simple a-line dress with a crisp white cardigan. Dad looked exactly like he did from the pictures at that time, just like a younger version of Elvis. I marveled at his handsomeness, and he looked at me and smiled, so warm and gentle. Mom’s hair was in soft curls, loosely framing her smooth and creamy complexion. As I slowly approached them, Mom and Dad reached out for me. I ran the last few steps and collapsed at their laps. I sobbed and sobbed, repeating how I missed them so much. I ran my fingers through my Mom’s hair and stroked her beautiful rosy cheeks. ‘My Pretty Mom…’, ‘I miss my sweet mom…’. I looked at Dad and pleaded for them not to leave me. Mom was the only one of the two to speak,
‘we’re fine honey, you are fine. We love you’
My eyes opened and I realized I was in bed, laying on my side – tears were falling, soaking my pillow. Inside my head, I screamed, ‘go back to sleep…I need to see them…go back to sleep’. But, I didn’t.
I lay frozen, staring at the wall, with my heart feeling like it was breaking. As I lay there shaking with fear and sorrow, I felt a pressure and release on my forehead, like someone had just kissed my head. I laid there numb, and eventually cried myself back to sleep with not another dream.
I felt happy to see them so vividly, and glad to see that they were pain-free, and at peace. Yet, at the same time, I was left shattered by their visit. I felt them, smelled them and talked to them – and now they are gone all over again.
That entire morning, I felt like I had all those years ago when they had passed away. The pain of losing my parents was again fresh, like it just happened. I carried on my day in absolute daze, weeping uncontrollably many times.
It wasn’t until early afternoon that I realized that it had been exactly 5 years ago that my Mother passed, to the day.
It was real.
I know in my heart that my parents visited me….
….I miss them so much it hurts