Should Twins Sleep in the Same Room?

 

Should Twins Sleep in the Same Room? It’s been a year coming, and quite honestly it’s probably been the roughest battle for me as a Mom of Twins. The transition from crib to bed! No, they’ve never fallen out. Not scared of the dark.

It’s the fact that bedtime was always one huge slumber party! Last year, as soon as the twins went from crib to bed, it’s been a fit of giggles, jumps and chaos! The hyper madness was too much to take, they would go at it for hours. Then, after such a late bedtime, they would be so grouchy and tired the next day {no longer having naps either}. It was especially frustrating since my daughter started grade school last year, and was up half the night listening to her twin toddler sisters partying in the next room. We were all so tired!

So, I adjusted the best way I could – one of them {always Katie} started sleeping in the hallway. I would put Sophia to bed and Katie would get her pillow and a blanket and lay down in the hallway. After she fell asleep, I would carry her back to her bed and there they would both sleep until morning.

Yep, my toddler slept in the hallway for a year. sigh.

About once a week I would try and get them both to fall asleep in their beds, only to have the slumber party fill the evening. Reminders, Shhh’ing, pleading and yes threatening {to take a toy away} – would not help. Each time I tried, I gave up after an hour, and end up seperating the twins and putting Katie in the hallway {then, and only then would they fall asleep within 5 minutes}.

Yep, in the hallway. Katies spot. I’ll never look at my hallway the same way.

It was getting old though, and jokes about kids sleeping in dresser drawers were passed around the dinner table. My poor little hallway sleeping girl! It was especially hard when we had company over. There, down the hall is my daughter falling asleep on the floor. “Watch your step if you need to go to the bathroom, my daughter is sleeping in the hallway.”

In the last month I have been trying extra hard to get them both to sleep in the same room, and finally {knock on wood}, it seems to be working. It might take 10-15 minutes of talking, giggling and the seldom ‘pitter-patter’ heard on the floor. But, it isn’t anything like before.

I have been thinking about what has changed, what is making this work now when it didn’t before? Were they just getting older? More tired than before? Then it hit me – it’s darker now at bedtime, more that in the Spring and Summer!

We do have a darkening shade on their bedroom window, yet there was always that annoying gap between shade and window, enough to allow them to see most everything in the room. This also allowed them to wander in ‘darkness’, with enough precision to play around and still scoot into their beds when they heard Mom coming to investigate.

It’s darker now with Winter coming, and I notice that it’s darker in their rooms at bedtime. The darkness keeps them in their beds, though there is the little chats and giggles to be heard for a bit. But, there’s no jumping and running around. This darkness also helps for sleepiness to settle in, until they succumb to the fact that it’s bedtime.

So, if you have twins or kids that share a room and the party is too much to bear, you might want to put a blanket over the window. It’s worth a shot!

And, if you too have a twin or child that is sleeping in the hallway {hey, it gave me some sanity this past year}, I’m here to let you know that it does get better. Well, until the next parenting hurdle, right?

We as parents are never alone in our struggles, together we can overcome the chaos!

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Comments

  1. We have had our girls sleeping together since the beginning, not twins, but 15 months apart. Some nights even now with them 10 and 9 I have to remind them it’s time for bed a few times. It’s not as often as it used to be though.

    • Oh I can expect some chat and giggles to last the entire roomate stage! Must be fun though, I never had a sibling my age, it’s pretty cool to see!

  2. I have a 4yo, 2yo and 10 month old. Sleep has always been an issue with kids so close together. At one point I had 3 yo in a twin bed in our room and the younger two in bed with DH and me. I finally had ENOUGH and moved 4yo and 2yo to their own room. And yup! PARTY TIME.

    UGH.

    So now DH or I will lay down with the older two and the other adult takes care of the baby. That is all that works so far. But I agree with you – the getting darker earlier sure helps to calm them down faster.

    • Oh Annie – sending hugs first and foremost!! occasionally I have had one of my girls come to bed with me due to a nightmare or something, and that’s tolerable it’s so infrequent. And, when they were all babies, they slept with me until about 3 months. But all the time? That wears on ya, doesn’t it?
      Glad you found a solution for now!

  3. Raquel says:

    my twin boys will be 4 in december. we have had the exact same struggle. i started putting one in my bed then carrying him back to bed when he was alseep. however then that started the fights. they would fight over who would get in mom’s bed so i had to figure something out. i was going insane!!! finally i got BUNKBEDS!!! omg it has been a lifesaver!!!! I also took away their nap (they were only down to one nap) and its great! they are asleep within 10 minutes. I too did the window covering. i had my mother in law make us one when they were infants and it is awesome. they wake right up when they see light so if we didnt have it we’d be up at 6am in the spring/summer.

    • I almost regret not getting bunks… but at age 3, I thought it would be such a hazard. BUT, what was I thinking? just get a single in there for a year until they get older, right? oh well!
      Glad to see I’m not alone. I always just had the same twin in the hallway, so there was no fighting. Once it became expected that she was moved, the other didn’t argue – it just became ‘her spot’. Same with their beds now, each has their own and there’s no switching, I don’t want the fights over beds!
      Speaking of – do they take turns with the top bunk? How does that work?

  4. Trevor says:

    Nice pics Mom!

  5. Samantha says:

    We are a family of three girls. My twins are 8 now & I can totally relate. Nowadays they are so tired with school & their activities, it only takes one warning. Our problem lately is one twin waking the other up in the early morning to chat & play. This seems to happen no matter how tired they were going to bed or how late it was!! It still makes for grumpy twins & a very grumpy younger sister who can hear a pin drop when she sleeps! Plus grumpy parents! On the weekend, I sleep with ear plugs in & my DH yells at them to stop!!! Oh the joy! Just a different lack of sleep!!!!

  6. I have a 7 year old girl and a 5 year old boy who are sharing a room (and have bunkbeds) and have similar troubles! If the two of them are in the same room they will play, visit each other’s beds and fool around till even my bedtime…. Most nights I let my son fall asleep in our bed instead and we can move him afterwards.

    My to do list includes clearing out a very full storage room so that we can separate the two of them officially.

    Right now my daughter is always on the top bunk (because she’s older and we started out that way). My son likes the bottom because you can tuck a sheet into the top bunk and make it a fort. Each bed has its perks. If my kids wanted to switch I’d let them do one week up, one week down (or whatever your sheet changing schedule is). They’ll be sad to lose their bunk beds when we put them in separate rooms…

  7. I am a twin. My Mom tells my twin and I horror stories of us running up and down the halls and giggling at all hours of the night (up to 2 am). I CANNOT imagine how horrific it must have been since she had 3 other children when we were doing that. This story did make me giggle though because I used to be that kid. Don’t worry, when they get into 2nd and 3rd grade they will actually like their sleep.

  8. Raquel says:

    yup we rotate the top bunk. it works well for us. i really worried about bunk beds about them falling but i was at my wits end. we got this one http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Solid-Wood-Espresso-Twin-Twin-Bunk-Bed/4714640/product.html?rcmndsrc=2
    and the top had a really high rail and the bottom we just put a bed rail (the cheaper one that walmart carries) and it works great. my boys havent had any issues. they get really excited and tell me whos turn it is to be on top.

  9. Oh my goodness, that is so sweet. I admit I’ve entertained the idea of putting my boys together, but I worry about the pajama parties that are obviously likely to take place. Sounds like you’ve figured out what works for you and the girls – and they’ll have fun memories when they grow older!

  10. Anne Taylor says:

    At one time I had 3 girls in 1 bedroom..

    The youngest never wanted to go to bed until an older one was going to bed ..

    I agree with you though, that getting kidlets to sleep when its darker is much easier than when its lighter outside. We actually had “black out” curtains put into the room and it made a huge difference.

  11. Anne Taylor says:

    stumbled When Twin Toddlers Sleep in the Same Room

    stumble name is greeeneyedwhwom

  12. How about a little divider in between the bed (can be a dresser, or just a bedsheet curtain)? Or simply a game who falls asleep first?

  13. Debbie jackson says:

    what an insightful article. We are soon to be aunt/uncle to twins., Thanks

    • Tammi says:

      Congrats Debbie! There’s always some battle to overcome, yet trust your gut and persist. Oh, and try and be smarter than the kids! ;P

  14. What a fun read! I’m a twin and have enjoyed sharing a room with my sister all my life. We even shared a crib as babies. :) I know the feeling though of having to separate twins. I had a job as a nanny for twin girls and I would let one of them sleep on the floor in the play room at nap time so I wouldn’t have to deal with their nap time antics. :D They took turns and it actually made for easier naptime, since they would get excited when it was their turn to sleep on the floor. :) I know this is an old post, so I hope all your sleeping problems have been resolved. :D

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